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I know! New Year Resolution might be quite a cliché. A passé concept. I am using it as a metaphor. Just for the sake of the connotation it holds with deciding to change a behavior or accomplish a personal goal.
A New Year's resolution is a tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.
Can we agree on that?
As much as we like to be perfect and we like life to be perfect, it never is. There are ( hopefully) always behaviors we like to change or goals we like to accomplish, personal or professional. There is always room to grow.
Pause: Can you think of one thing that can happen in your personal or professional world that would support your vision or your dream?
Staying curious enough will sure open up a couple of subjects, if not more. And most often, as soon as we become aware of the topic we aim for an immediate solution. We decide on a radical change. We press ourselves ( or others) to change a behavior that has probably been created during many years( hence the New Year Resolution).
Pause: How often is a sudden decision to change a behavior effective? How often does a sudden choice to develop a skill initiate action?
As coaches we hear rather common complaints:
Most often than not, a hard and fast decision to change any of these traits is not effective. There are way too many variables that have to be considered and affected before this change can take place. One important one being “Competing Commitments”.
Pause: What are some other things that you are committed to that stand in the way of your New Year Resolution?
Let’s bring an example for competing commitments:
As a leader I may be committed to the value and importance of my staff taking more self initiative. However, I am also,
Pause: Define your competing commitments. What are some commitments that come on the way of the change you wish to create?
Changing from the “ Language of New Year Resolution” to the “ Language of Competing Commitments” will transform your approach. Instead of the burden of a sudden transformation now you can traverse, accept, gently work with all the competing behaviors to get results.
Pause:How can you change your language to include these competing commitments and take advantage of them to create the transformation you wish to see?
By transforming your language, you can transform your reality.