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Habit or addiction? Pass-time or waste time? Seeking pleasure or running away from priorities?
Last weekend I caught myself spending more time in the garden than with any other activity or person. No social interactions, no pool time, no cooking. As if I have become a permanent feature in my garden, neighbors turn their heads once they go around the corner on their way to the lake and greet me with a smile. I am expected to be there! At the beginning of my almost year long project in the front yard the smiles were cheering and encouraging but recently I discovered an ambiguity on my cheerleaders’ faces that tickled my curiosity. Was it me or was there something my neighbors could sense as objective observers that I was being oblivious to?
Powerful questions that stir up thoughts can initiate great self observation practices.Self observation is one of the most valuable tools in recognizing and changing patterns that would lead to personal growth. The hardest part is facing the question and embracing it without fear or judgement, without obsession or confrontation. The moment judgement arises we have lost touch with the present time. That’s when a “ feedback” translates into criticism. And any question offered from that point on, will hit a frozen wall of predetermined rejection.
As a coach, proposing effective questions is part of my continual practice and that’s not just to others but to myself as well. Meanwhile the first lesson that I had to learn as a business developer in the corporate world _cold calling and facing rejection_ was: “ Don’t take anything personal”! In many ways Business Development enhanced my capacity for life, for listening, and accepting without judgement.
And here I was! Another question, another weed to pull in the garden of my soul while I was quite occupied dealing with the ones in dirt! I truly started asking myself, how often do we allow a hobby to come in the way of our life; our relationships, our health, our social connections? How often do we use a pass-time activity as a means to run away from the connection we need to make or the task we have been procrastinating for a while, or even just allowing our bodies and minds to rest and relax, to just BE versus Do. How often do we complain ob being busy and having no time? How do we prioritize our time and our activities?
If this resonates with you in any way and you are interested in a self observation practice, please write to me. I would love to share!
Yours, in Service