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Summer seems to be a good time to review and revisit. Before moving on to the third module in Leadership Language, let’s review the first two modules of internal language briefly. Especially with the Leadership Language workshop moving fast forward I thought a pause will be timely.
In the first module we discussed the language of complaint and the passion that lies underneath it. And in the second module we touched on the common language of blame to avoid taking personal responsibility.
Before moving on to “ the language of new year resolution”, Pause and,
I grew up during revolution. Even being deaf by birth could not protect you from hearing the waves of complaint reaching higher and higher. Everyone complained until Shah was dethroned. Did complains stop? Alas! They became even more widespread and even louder. Perhaps because no one focused on the passion people had for their country. No one paid attention to what they were truly committed to; the wellbeing of every individual, now and forthcoming. And perhaps because complain became second nature. A living habit. A safe zone. How does this show up in your organization?
Finding the commitment that lies underneath complain is not always an easy task. At times it may require true courage and readiness to make oneself vulnerable enough. Besides, naturally we always take the easy way out. A strong commitment to a virtue, a value, a personal need or a belief is the fuel feeding the flames of complaint. Where there is complain, there is a passionate commitment. After all, would you complain about the weather if you were not inclined to enjoy a beautiful afternoon by the pool? Would you complain about the new accounting software if you weren't passionate about being efficient and precise? Would you complain about your spouse working late if you were not interested in spending more time together?
Pause. Reflect. Find the Commitment.
I can’t help but think of an expression my mom used a lot having raised eight children. Every time we tried to get away from taking responsibility or blame a situation she would gently remind us of the anecdote: “ You sound like the bride who didn't know how to dance and she blamed it all on the floor being sloped and uneven.” An invitation to observing oneself, however humorous and tender.
Yes, when you don't want to take personal responsibility, there’s always, without a doubt someone or something that can be blamed. So many careers and businesses are built around blame these days that its hard to find fault with blame. It seems that blame has become a natural part of our connections, our businesses and the way we communicate. But are we considering the long term affects of blame?
We blame technology, political figures, nations, economy, every living and non-living thing under these vast skies. We blame each other. All this effort to avoid taking personal responsibility. Is it the bravest, most efficient and kindest thing to do?
Pause. Reflect. Take Responsibility.
Next stop will be “ the Language of New Year Resolution”. Would be helpful to make a list of “ decisions” to change a habit that become “ New Year Resolutions”, hardly manifesting!